“You came into my life, thinking you could shake me down ‘cause I’m just some spoiled rich brat who needed his daddy’s protection.’ Trust me; when I make things disappear, they stay buried.”—Lex Luthor
1. With great power, comes great responsibility, but even superheroes need breaks. (Yeah, Spiderman taught me this one too.)
2. Never trust bald, power-hungry psychopaths with names like Lex Luthor because they will fuck you up or just plain kill you after you’re done being useful.
3. Don’t let secrets ruin the relationships you have with people in your life, but choose the right people to reveal them to, because you don’t want your shit splattered on the front pages of people’s newspapers slash facebook statuses slash tumblrs.
4. Pick the right time to tell someone you love them; not on their wedding day, not when they’re about to die, and not when you’re amped up on red kryptonite a.k.a. BadAss Kryptonite.
5. Protect your fucking external hard drives and flash USB thingies with your life. Don’t let any bastard steal it, erase shit from it, or destroy it because valuable data is on that little piece of technology!
6. Don’t forget about the Chloe Sullivans in your life because while you’re off being a Clark Kent and pining for the Lana Langs in the world, your Chloe is at home, waiting for you to call, knowing you need someone to talk to once you’ve got your heart trampled over yet again. Don’t let the Jimmy Olsens steal them away before you realize you actually have feelings for that girl.
7. Don’t raise your daughters to be like Lois Lane, because she is an annoying, sleazy, classless, mouthy, and unintelligent skank-whore that somehow gets to end up with Clark Kent, who she doesn’t even deserve because she’s so damn annoying, always running into traps so she keeps needing a superhero to save her, and too busy hooking up with guy after guy when inside, she’s empty and hiding some little girl issues about her father not taking care of her or some shit. Bottom line is: love your daughters or else they’ll end up bad.
8. Your life can have a fan-fucking-tabulous soundtrack if you take a chance to stumble upon some of the best musicians in the world. Leave the bubblegum pop slash drugged up trance slash eurotrash slash i’m-going-to-choke-you-bitch screamo music where it belongs — in the gutter.
9. If you were saved from death, just thank the person who saved you and moved on with your life. Don’t build huge international conspiracy projects, such as 33.1, that try to answer the question of why you’re still alive. Live your life in the present and think of the future but please, for the world’s sake, don’t live in the past.
10. And finally, know that though you may be too busy saving the world or screwing over the world or just taking up space in the world during the day, you will eventually experience the moment where you’re about to fall asleep but you take a moment to think about all that you’ve done, good and bad.
You may be alone or you may be lucky and have a cuddle buddy, but know that despite all of this, you must be happy with who you are as a person and how you live your life, because the most important person in your life is you. If you are not happy, then obviously something is wrong. Why even waste the effort of waking up in the morning and spreading your gloom all over the place, making everyone else unhappy and full of issues? Be yourself. Be happy, or try to, anyways.
If you don’t like yourself, your life will suck despite how much money there is under your name, how beautiful you are on the outside, how many friends you think you really have, how successful you may be, or how much power you hold in the world. Learn to love yourself before you let others into your heart — because if you don’t respect who you are, you cannot make things work with anybody else.
“Love has a way of blinding even the sharpest minds. We don’t look because we don’t want to see. But once love is stripped away, we see the real person clearly. There revealed to us, with all their flaws, their foibles, and their secrets.”—SMALLVILLE (via hannabananums)
The answer seems obvious: Replace the show with itself. Finally bite the bullet and just make an outright Superman series.
Why not? They have the cast already (Tom Welling seems to be happy playing the role forever, it seems), and the Daily Planet and Metropolis sets. Simply end the ninth season with Clark putting on the famous red and blue outfit for the first time, and come back the next year with a new name for the show, a timejump so that you can skip boring “How Superman won everyone’s trust” stories and also reset the status quo a little bit closer to the familiar tradition - and also, let the stars play closer to their real ages - and a new point for the series. Instead of going back to play the “What if [DC Comics Character X] was a teen?” card, just give the people what they want: Clark Kent, saving Metropolis with his shiny red boots on. Instead of continually looking at the past, the best thing the CW could do, if they want to keep the Smallville audience, is let the show become what it needs to, and look ahead, instead. Or maybe not look ahead. Maybe they should look up in the sky.